-          A cheesy fanfare and two Kids’ presenters bound on stage, dressed in Fluoro and braces. They overact like hell.

 

Both, very cheesy: Hi Everyone!

 

Billy: I’m Billy!

 

Millie: And I’m Millie! And we’re your presenters tonight for a very special show…

 

Both: The 2009 Science Revue!!!

 

Billy: Hang on, though! What’s the Science Revue?

Millie: I don’t know, Billy! What is the Science Revue?

 

Billy: I don’t know, Millie! What is the Science Revue?

 

Millie, getting pissed off: I don’t know, Billy! What is the Science Revue?

 

Billy, also losing it: I don’t know, Millie! What is the Science Revue?

 

Millie, completely deadpan: Just tell them, you idiot.

 

Billy, also deadpan: Ok, ok. (Cheesy again) Well, Millie, a Revue is a show on stage, with lots of singing, dancing and laughter!

 

Millie, deadpan: And some groans.

 

Billy, still trying to be cheesy: And some groans!

 

Millie, cheesy again: Uh-huh? And what’s Science?

 

Billy: Well, Science is… green bubbly smelly stuff inside a glass bottle!

 

Millie: Really?!

 

Billy: Yeah!

 

Millie: Wow! Now tell me, Billy! Do you have a mobile phone?

 

Billy: Do I have a mobile phone?

 

Millie: Do you have a mobile phone?

 

Billy: Why, yes I do! (Takes it out)

 

Millie: Well, I think you’d better turn off your mobile phone!

 

Billy: Really?! Why?

 

Millie: Because it can interfere with the sound systems and interrupt the show! And that’s not a very good thing, because it makes you look like a total tosser!

 

Billy: Jeepers! I’d better turn off my mobile phone!

 

Millie: Yes, you’d better!

 

Billy: Oh! Look at the time! We’d better go, Millie! I really want to see the show!

 

-          Billy goes to leave; Millie pulls him back by his braces.

 

Millie: Hang on a second, Billy! What does everyone do if there’s an emergency?

 

Billy: An emergency?!

 

Millie: An emergency!

 

Billy: An emergency?!

 

Millie, stepping on Billy’s foot: An emergency!

 

Billy: Well, I don’t know! I guess we’ll have to ask Barney the Bear! (Takes out a Teddy Bear) Say, Barney! What do we do if there’s an emergency? (He mimes the Bear talking) … thanks Barney! And that’s what you do in an emergency!

 

Millie: Okay! So sit back, relax, and get ready for…

 

Both: The 2009 Science Revue!! YAY!!

-          As the lights go down, they start fighting with each other.