Camp Guantanamo Bay

With the closure of Camp X-Ray at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, expected by the beginning of 2010, questions are being raised as to the future of the facility. Science Revue presents one solution.
[Lights up to reveal young teenagers milling about in plain clothes, very excited, and Drill Sergeant Tim.]
DST: [Blows whistle].

Attention! Good morning and welcome to summer camp here at the beautiful Camp Guantanamo Bay. If you have not already done so, surrender your passports and other ID papers to your councellors for safekeeping - we'll give them back to you before you leave. If you leave...

Observe the following rules.

Do not stray beyond the camp perimeter. It is hard to miss, and there are godless blood-sucking communists on the other side of eight rows of barbed wire.

Your custom fitted orange jumpsuits will be available for the group photo by tomorrow afternoon. Thereafter they must be worn at all times, unless you are performing the series of activities themed 'electronics'.

If you hear strange noises at night, such as dogs or loud music, DO NOT be alarmed. We are simply working around the clock to ensure all activities will be ready for you in the coming days.

For our first activity of the summer camp, please file to the aquatics complex. Do not forget these. [Holds up folded pillow slip.]

When directed, [unfolding pillow slip] place over nose and mouth and breathe normally.

[Children skip gaily from stage each with a pillow slip in hand.]

[Lights down.]