[Boy and girl sit on chairs angled towards each other at center-stage.]

Barry: I don't know how to say this, I feel a way I have never felt before. Everything is new...

Martha: Baz, are you okay?

B: Okay. I'm wonderful, exploding with... with... Oh my, Martha, I think, I'm in love with you!

M: Are you sure?

B: Totally.

M: Wow. Oh Barry, I love you too!

B: I want to be with you forever. Oh Martha!

M: Oh Baz!

B: Elope with me, let's run away to Tennessee and get married! Finally our lives can begin, together.

M: Oh Baz!

B: Oh Martha, it's so exciting, so scary... so exciting!

M: Oh Baz!

B: Oh Martha!

M: Stop that Baz. I'd love to elope, I really would. But I just can't!

B: What? Why not? I've been so deeply in love for so long, for, oh, fifteen minutes at least! I can hardly breathe. My heart is breaking!

M: Oh Baz.

B: Oh Mar...

M: Stop it. This is important! I'm so sorry. I'm actually a man.

B: Oh.

M: I'm sorry. I knew you would understand. We can never be together. But can we still be friends?

B: No. Wait! That's no problem. I just remembered I'm actually a woman!

M: Oh Bec!

B: Oh Marty!