Memory

(A brain. A bunch of cells are lazing around; BRAIN CELL and LONG TERM MEMORY looking bored, SHORT TERM MEMORY (always happy) standing by a whiteboard with phone numbers, S CELL sitting nearby looking stupidly happy, WIKI CELL constantly working and reading files from a box, TRIVIA lazing nearby looking smug, and HEART CELL (wears a shirt with a heart on it) looking really focused in a corner).

SHORT TERM: (rubbing out the phone number) Hey long term memory, it's hard being a brain cell...

LONG TERM: You think you've got it tough, short term memory? I'm obsolete thanks to Wikipedia!

SHORT TERM: Yeah, I guess... hey, long term memory... (pause) I hate being a brain cell...

(LONG TERM groans)

MESSENGER: (walks on stage left) Hey guys, is this the brain? I'm studying for a test tomorrow and I need you to remember this. (hands over piece of paper to BRAIN CELL, walks off stage right)

BRAIN CELL: Hey long term, can you remember this?

LONG TERM: Maybe later.

BRAIN CELL: Fine... Hey, short term, remember this! (hands piece of paper over)

SHORT TERM: Sure! (writes equation onto whiteboard)

LONG TERM: Why can't you do it?

BRAIN CELL: I'm remembering foreign swear words. (picks up translation dictionary, snickers)

LONG TERM: Well, what about him?

S CELL: (happily) I'm thinking about sex!!

TRIVIA: (butting in) Well, I'm far too busy! I'm Trivia. Did you know... (something really mundane)?

WIKI CELL: (not looking up) Yes.

(TRIVIA glares at him.)

SHORT TERM: Oooh! Do you know (thing)?

TRIVIA: Of course! (answer)

SHORT TERM: That's so cool! (walks to whiteboard)

(SHORT TERM happily flips over the whiteboard and writes it out on the other side big letters. As he does so, LUNG CELL passes through in the background.)

LUNG CELL: Breathe in... breathe out... hey guys... breathe in... (exit)

(BRAIN CELL waves at LUNG CELL and looks over at WIKI CELL.)

BRAIN CELL: You okay?

WIKI CELL: He won't stop opening Wikipedia links! I can't take much more of this!

LONG TERM: You pussy.

TRIVIA: You've got it tough? Do you think my job is easy? (puts feet up, starts reading mX)

(WIKI CELL glares at them, grabs a file and passes it to SHORT TERM.)

WIKI CELL: Can you hold on to this?

(SHORT TERM flips board over, equation has been rubbed out and replaced by a doodle of a penis)

SHORT TERM: (looks confused) Wasn't there something important here?

TRIVIA: If there was, I would know it.

SHORT TERM: Yeah, I guess... hey, long term memory...

LONG TERM: (groans)

(the SINGING CELL wanders in, happily playing with a Guitar Hero controller while humming one of the songs in the revue)

BRAIN CELL: Oh crap!

LONG TERM: Not this guy again!

(as he passes, BRAIN CELL and SHORT TERM start air guitaring and humming. LONG TERM puts his hands over his ears. TRIVIA goes into the foetal position. WIKI CELL starts humming to himself.)

S CELL: Bow chikka bow wow...

LONG TERM: Aargh! It's stuck there! Forever!

BRAIN CELL: (as he nearly trips over HEART CELL in the corner) Hey, what are you doing anyway?

HEART CELL: Not really sure, I just know I have to keep doing it.

BRAIN CELL: What happens if you stop doing it?

HEART CELL: Hmmm... (looks curious...)

(everyone falls down dead. Lights out.)

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