Missionary in standard Livingstone attire, complete with safari hat, walking stick and obvious religious symbols walks across stage. Tribesman with swag stands straight staring into the distance with one foot on the other knee, spears and beads in abundance.

M: Good day to you.

[Tribesman slowly looks around.]

T: And to you. What may I do for you?

M: I am here on a mission from god to deliver the good news! You have been saved, by Jesus.

T: Who is Jesus?

M: Jesus is the son of god, sacrificed to pay for our sins.

T: Oh, THAT Jesus. Yeah, I've heard about him.

M: Really - then you are already saved?

T: Not yet, no... it is a long path to understanding.

M: Too true my son. Shall we pray.

T: I don't see why not. But first, would you care to assume the dress of the church as it is traditionally practised in my country?

M: Certainly.

[T opens his swag and pulls out two berets. He places one on his head, one on M's head.]

M: Holy father.

T: Noodly father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy supreme meatballyness...

[M double take].

M: Wait a second. Do you know Richard Dawkins?

T: He was born in Nairobi - so was I! We are brothers by another mother.

M: I see.

T: Now you are wearing the traditional head-gear of the nihilist philosophers, you must appreciate the glorious existential truth. In the words of our father, Nietszche, "I do not think, therefore I am dead."

M: I wasn't expecting to find hard-bitten atheists in the African savanna.

T: Mission work is harder when the savages aren't ignorant, eh!

M: Fuck this, I'm going back to lecture bashing for the EU.

[Lights.]