A sad, lone figure stands in the middle of the stage. The rest of the stage is dark, with a dim spotlight on the figure. He stands silent, and the following voice-over is heard:

Life is so empty and pointless. My life is nothing but a meaningless blip in a sea of people. It is time to free myself from this personal hell.

Lights up.

The Facebook logo appears on the screen behind the figure. He picks up a card with a photo and text on it (a la Facebook status updates) and announces:

“Joe Gardner has had enough and has decided to end it all.”

Six people begin to file in (three from the left, three from the right), all holding similar cards. Each walk to the centre of the stage and say their 'comment' aloud (also written on the card), before moving to one side.

“Karen Richardson likes this.”

“Pics or it didn't happen.”

“You and three other people like this!”

“Can I 'poke' the corpse?”

“If you jump, do a flip!”

“I'll tag you in the video.”

The lone figure turns his card over and announces to the audience:

"Joe Gardner wasn't going to kill himself, he was just quitting Facebook!"

The people angrily flip their cards over, move to the centre of the stage, say their 'comment' and storm out:

“Attention whore!”

“You had me all excited for nothing!”

“Fuck this, I'm going back to Myspace.”

“Dammit, I had my camera ready!”

"I wanted to poke the corpse!"

“No, you're too young!”

Lights down.