The G57 summit

Voiceover: 2009 will go down in history as the year of the summit. The year in which the leaders of all the nations of the world met together at a summit, to talk about what they would talk about at the next summit. Now, the next summit is to be held… in New Zealand… (New Zealand accent) the G57 summit.


Lights up on two New Zealanders (NZ1 and NZ2) who talk in stereotypical accents.


NZ2: Hey bro.

NZ1: Hey bro!

NZ2: You ready for this brand new summit, bro?

NZ1: Sure am, bro. Got my speech prepared and everything.

NZ2: Can I have a look, bro?

NZ1: Sure thing, bro. (hands him a series of palm cards) It’s mostly jokes, bro; I didn’t want to be too serious.

NZ2: (holds up a palm card) You can’t say this joke, bro.

NZ1: Why not, bro?

NZ2: It’s about Australians, bro. There are Australians coming to the summit, it’ll be offensive.

NZ1: Shit.

NZ2: In fact, you can’t use this one either… or this one… or any of them! Bro, all of your jokes are about Australians!

NZ1: Oh, no! Those are all the jokes in the country! (alt: Those are the only jokes I know!) What are we gonna talk about at the summit now, bro?

NZ2: Swine flu!

NZ1: No, everyone’s forgotten about that now.

NZ2: North Korea!

NZ1: No, bro! Iran’s replaced that!

NZ2: Oh! Climate Change!

NZ1: Brilliant, bro! Have sea levels risen yet?

NZ2: Not sure, bro.

NZ1: Have a look at the Tasman Sea, bro!


NZ2 walks five metres to the right and stares at the ground.


NZ2: Doesn’t look any different, bro.

NZ1: What about the Pacific Ocean?


NZ2 walks five metres to the left and stares at the ground.


NZ2: Still looks exactly the same, bro. Just a whole load of water.

NZ1: Shit! The summit people are going to be here in a minute! What are we going to do?


Ideally, this sketch would continue with a whole load of World Leaders coming in and talking about whatever, but I can’t think of anything.