The Loan Stranger

HANNAH walks past the wall of a bank where a HOBO sits

Hobo: Spare some Change?

Hannah: Sorry, I haven't got any on me.

Hobo: (Dejected) Oh, okay.

Hannah: Tell you what, I'm just headed into that bank. If you help me get my loan I'll give you some of the money

Hobo: Why do you need me?

Hannah: You know how hard it is to get a home loan -

Hobo: (looks around) Not really.

Hannah: Well, it's a lot easier when you apply as a couple

Hobo: You just need to learn to apply yourself

Hannah: Come on, will you pretend to be a couple?

Hobo: For a couple of bucks I will.

They enter the BANK – the MANAGER greets them.

Manager: Ah yes, Ms Greenberg.

Hannah: Hannah, please

Hobo: Will somebody fetch her a Hannah?

Manager: Sorry, you are?

Hobo: Therefore I think.

Manager: What's your name?

Hobo: A way of identifying me

Hannah: It's, uh, Keith

Manager: Keith .. why do I recognise you?

Hobo: You can't help it, I suppose.

Hannah: Can we discuss the loan?”

Manager: Ah, yes. How much was it you wished to borrow?

Hobo: Seven dollars.

Manager: Seven dollars?

Hannah: No, sorry. Keith can be a bit absent minded at times (She pats his thigh, giving him an angry stare) It was 200,000.

Hobo: 200K! That's a lot of change

Manager: What does that mean?

Hannah: He means .. getting this house .. will mean a big change in my – our lives

Manager: (to Hobo) I think I recognise you .. do you live outside the bank?

Hobo: I certainly don't live inside the bank.

Manager: I mean, are you a bum?

Hobo: Part of me is, I assure you.

Manager: Are you a tramp!?

Hobo: I ain't no lady.

Manager: Are you two really together?

Hannah: Of course! I love Keith

Manager: And you?

Hobo: I love Keith.

Manager: Why should I give you this loan?

Hannah: Look, I'm – we're hardworking, reliable and I think we've earned it.

Manager: I should warn you, with such a risky loan the interest would be very high

Hobo: Unlike mine.

Hannah: That's no problem. We'll take it.

Manager: Great! Sign here

Hobo: Zodiac or Street?

Hannah: Please, stop.

Hobo: I was thinking “give way” myself, but you're the boss. (They sign)

Manager: There. Everything seems to be in order. Have you got any questions?

Hobo: Spare some change?