Rain noise. 1 is standing centre stage under a big umbrella. 2, also carrying an umbrella, comes along.


2: Sorry, can I share your umbrella?


1: Sure. (Pause.) Hang on, what’s that? (Points at the umbrella.)


2: This? It’s an umbrella. What does it look like?  


1: Why don’t you put it up?


2: I can’t open my umbrella! It’ll get wet!


1: What? Isn’t that the whole point of umbrellas?


2: No! This is my dry umbrella.


1: Huh?


2: I’ve got an umbrella to use when it rains, and an umbrella to use when it doesn’t, and this is the latter.


1: But when it’s not raining, you don’t need an umbrella.


2: Yes, you do! It’s an accessory. You know handbags?


1: Yes.


2: Exactly like that. Except it’s an umbrella. You see?


1: No.


2: Just something I carry around! It’s a fashion thing. It’s not something you actually use.


1: That’s completely illogical.


2: Like I say, fashion.


3 comes on, with an open umbrella.


3: Oh, good. May I? (puts umbrella down, goes under 1’s umbrella.)


1: Wait a sec, you’ve got your own umbrella!


3: What? No, I don’t.


1: Yes, you do. I saw it.


3: No, you didn’t.


1: Yes, I did! You’ve got it there! What’s that then?


3: What? (Looks at own hands.) Oh! This! This is… an… umbrella.


1: Yes.

3: It’s… broken.


1: Looked fine to me.


3: It’s not a very good umbrella. It’s not actually waterproof.


1: So it lets the rain in, does it?


3: Yes, all of it. Even more than actually falls on it. If you stand under this umbrella, you will actually get wetter than if you just stand in the rain!


1: So why were you standing under it?


3: Because… it’s a magic umbrella. If I don’t stand under it in the rain, the whole world will be consumed in a fiery hell of doom!  


1: That doesn’t sound very likely.


2: Yeah. If you ask me, you’re just being selfish. Honestly, use your own umbrella!


Needs a good punchline