Rain noise. 1 is standing centre stage under a big umbrella. 2, also carrying an umbrella, comes along.
2: Sorry, can I share your umbrella?
1: Sure. (Pause.) Hang on, what’s that? (Points at the umbrella.)
2: This? It’s an umbrella. What does it look like?
1: Why don’t you put it up?
2: I can’t open my umbrella! It’ll get wet!
1: What? Isn’t that the whole point of umbrellas?
2: No! This is my dry umbrella.
1: Huh?
2: I’ve got an umbrella to use when it rains, and an umbrella to use when it doesn’t, and this is the latter.
1: But when it’s not raining, you don’t need an umbrella.
2: Yes, you do! It’s an accessory. You know handbags?
1: Yes.
2: Exactly like that. Except it’s an umbrella. You see?
1: No.
2: Just something I carry around! It’s a fashion thing. It’s not something you actually use.
1: That’s completely illogical.
2: Like I say, fashion.
3 comes on, with an open umbrella.
3: Oh, good. May I? (puts umbrella down, goes under 1’s umbrella.)
1: Wait a sec, you’ve got your own umbrella!
3: What? No, I don’t.
1: Yes, you do. I saw it.
3: No, you didn’t.
1: Yes, I did! You’ve got it there! What’s that then?
3: What? (Looks at own hands.) Oh! This! This is… an… umbrella.
1: Yes.
1: Looked fine to me.
3: It’s not a very good umbrella. It’s not actually waterproof.
1: So it lets the rain in, does it?
3: Yes, all of it. Even more than actually falls on it. If you stand under this umbrella, you will actually get wetter than if you just stand in the rain!
1: So why were you standing under it?
3: Because… it’s a magic umbrella. If I don’t stand under it in the rain, the whole world will be consumed in a fiery hell of doom!
1: That doesn’t sound very likely.
2: Yeah. If you ask me, you’re just being selfish. Honestly, use your own umbrella!
Needs a good punchline |
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