You Shall Not Password

Lights up. SECRETARY is sitting at a desk, writing or some such. She is the dissaffected sort who doesn't give a damn about anyone, she does get entertainment out of other people's troubles. BABYFACE is standing just behind her left shoulder. BABY FACE is the broadest, most menacing guy we can muster in the revue. SYSTEMS ANALYST enters from stage left.

Systems Analyst: Uh, hi, I'm the new systems analyst that's supposed to start today.

BABY FACE steps around, barring passage.

Baby Face: Password.

Systems Analyst: Oh, it's PA55W0RD and it's all upper case.

Secretary: Sorry, that's wrong.

Systems Analyst: No, it's not, I printed it out because I knew I'd forget it. See?

Secretary: You printed out your password? That is a breach of security protocols, anybody could see it.

Systems Analyst: ...Oh. I guess I forgot it then (Shifty, Stashes paper)

Secretary: You've forgotten your password, I will reset it and give you a new one. I have sent it to your computer.

Systems Analyst: Great, thanks! So I'll just go and get it.

SYSTEMS ANALYST goes to step around BABY FACE, he steps to block their path.

Baby Face: Password.

Systems Analyst: (to SECRETARY) But, I don't have my password, it's on my computer, you just emailed it to me, you know this.

Secretary: (Agitated sigh) Would you like to attempt your secret question?

Systems Analyst: Ugh, fine. What is it?

Secretary: Your secret question is (beat) “Insert secret question here”.

Systems Analyst: I'm pretty sure that's not a question.

Secretary: I can only read what's on the screen.

Systems Analyst: Look, it's obvious I'm the real deal, any fraud would have broken in by now!

Secretary: There's no need to get snippy with me, I'm not the one who forgot their password.

Systems Analyst: Yes, I know, I'm sorry. Is there any way I can get inside the building?

Secretary: You could smash a window or climb onto the roof or knock out Babyface here- (then there's)

Systems Analyst: Is there any way to get in that wouldn't be an illegal operation?

Secretary: No.

SYSTEMS ANALYST attacks BABY FACE. The Blue screen of death comes up on screen and the lighting goes blue, everyone freezes

They stay for at least 7 minutes