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M: Part originally sung by Mary, a scientist trying to sell their miracle compound R: random member of public who is skeptical G: gramps. member of public who reveals their white hair which is hidden under a hat. B: Bort, assistant to M. Originally Burt, I gave most of his lyrics back to M We'd start with some kind of scene that closely parodies the original scene (when Mary wins first prize at the races in the chalk drawing.) Bunch of members of the public ask "Mary" questions about their new "miracle compound" that causes them to burst into song. As you do. R: There probably aren’t words to describe your emotions! M: Now now now gentlemen please, On the contrary there is a very good word, am I right Bert? B: Tell em what it is M: right Its……Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it Is something quite atrocious If you say it loud enough You'll always sound precocious Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Because I was afraid to speak When I was just a lad My father gave me nose a tweak And told me I was bad But then one day I learned a word That saved me aching nose The biggest word I ever heard And this is how it goes: Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it Is something quite atrocious If you say it loud enough You'll always sound precocious Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay He travelled all around the world and everywhere he went He’d use his word and all would say there goes a clever gent When dukes or maharajas Pass the time of day with me I say my special word and then they ask me out to tea Oh! supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it Is something quite atrocious If you say it loud enough You'll always sound precocious Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay M: You know you can say it backwards which is docious-ally-expee-istic-fragi-cali- whoopus, but thats going a bit too far dont you think? B: Indubitably So when the cat has got your tongue There's no need for dismay Just summon up this word And then you've got a lot to say But better use it carefully Or it may change your life For example yes One night I said it to me girl And now me girl's my wife! And a lovely thing she is too She's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (whispered) Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! |
Mary (a Scientist), Bert (her assistant) standing centre stage, with assorted Guests. M: That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Here is the future right here, in this flask. My assistant Bert and I have been testing the properties of our remarkable discovery, and we have found that this chemical has so many wonderful applications! It can cure diseases, provide cheap alternative fuel and kills all sorts of bacteria. B: There's a question here. M: Yes? Guest 1: (Into Bert's microphone) Is it alcoholic? M: It's great with lime and soda. Guest 1: I'm sold. M:Thankyou. I am offering each and every one of you a chance to assist in the marketing and production of this remarkable new chemical. Guest 2: What's it called? M: Hydrofluorochloroethylbromobenzylnitrate. Guest 2: ... right. Not exactly catchy, is it? M: Just wait until you see my marketing campaign. Are you ready Bert? B: Ready when you are. M: Good! One, two, three... M: Its…Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate Density of four point three It’s not what you’d call lightweight Difficult to filter And impossible to titrate Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate! Backup singers: Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay M: Was working in my lab last week and all my tests had failed I peered over my flask to check and with sharp breath inhaled And soon I found that my compound Had made my rash dissolve The trials gave results profound No problem it can't solve! M+B: it's Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethryl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate! Even though the smell of it Will make you rather irate If you heat it up enough You’ll substitute a phosphate Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay B: We travelled all around the world And everywhere we went We’d pull out our compound and say: This stuff is cash well spent M: When doctors or professors Raise their hands to question me I demonstrate its uses Then they pay my monster fee! Chorus: Oh! Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate! It will emit purple light When dropping to the ground state Use it as a catalyst or use it as a substrate! Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay M: You know technically it would be 1-fluro-2-chloro-ethyl-3 bromo-5 nitro benzene but that’s a little obsessive don’t you think? B: Indubitably So even if results are due There's no need for dismay Just mix on up this stuff And then you've got a great display M: But use low concentration Or it may overexcite Guest: For example M: yes G: It could destroy the ozone layer and let in UV light! All look up uncertainly, then... *beat* All: Nah! It's Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate! Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate (whispered) Hydro-fluro-chloro-ethyl-bromo-benzyl-nitrate! |
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